the gates of hell just opened.

Moved

This blog is officially moved over here:

http://fuck-canon.tumblr.com/ 

Go re-follow it or whatever you want to do. All the old submissions are already there. 

The Mary Sue Alice (Superjail Story)

I roleplay Lord Stingray, I don’t consider my self the best out there but I may be one of the only ones around currently. Any way this all started a while back with some one i’ll call M. 

Me and M met on fb, she was a fan of LSR and I thought it was cool She was new to roleplay and all of that. I give people chances if they seem normal.

She seemed ok at first. She chose Alice from superjail to play as and made the account and all of that. It was going alright for a while. But then all of it went down hill when W showed up.  

Now you see both M and W became fast friends. The only problem was that W was extremely uncannon and continued to try to seduce LSR into having sex with her. I refused of course and then eventually… 

M and W started having creepy yuri rps with each other in a group pm I had several other rpers in as well. It made many of us uncomfortable and When asked to stop they would throw a fit or complain and accuse the other rpers of doing the same thing.  Eventually I couldn’t take it any more and quit the group for good. 



I got tired of her trying to lie to me and kiss up to me so I haven’t really seen much of her since.

A few things she did that really ended it for me was trying to ship me irl with several of her friends who also greatly disliked this. Over all she was a very creepy person and a weeaboo. A terrible role player and a horrible friend.

She was completely uncannon it was like a girly version of the character Alice who is actually rather manly. She would make up ocs just for her Alice to fangirl over them and make up things that completely screwed over cannon. It was like one of thos fuck cannon types of deals. If some one else did something she would copy them saying it was completely ok because they did it. 

Six months go by and I see M again. She’s had many very badly made ocs, (She even tried to pair me with one. )  and now claims she is one of the best rpers there is and only she is the best Alice. Truth be told she was still terrible maybe even worse. Still trying to have yuri rps in public with every one and being a terrible liar. Still tracing base art as well. 

She has a tablet now and still traces bases terribly..  

Batman Fandom. What has become of you?

First of all I want to say that this happened only a few minutes ago. I’m still shaking with a mixture out of rage/shock/nausea and not to mention fear of brain damage.

There I was, innocently checking my messages as the Riddler, when suddenly I was approached by a random person who added me and wanted to rp. 

My first clue should have been this chat message:
Random Person:
“eddie
post me a tarter please”

Nevertheless I give everybody a chance and I am not one to decline a roleplay, even if the chances of it being successful are slim on facebook, sadly.

And then it happened.

Sorry for the not-too-small screenshots but the whole thing works better like this. I will post the links so they won’t stretch the page etc. I hope this is okay.

Part 1: http://i43.tinypic.com/23iw9he.png

Part 2: http://i44.tinypic.com/doxqoi.png

Part 3: http://i44.tinypic.com/20px9ox.png

I still wonder how I managed to stand this, or even stay calm for so long.

While I don’t consider myself especially talented, there are roleplayers who exceed what I do by far, I think I can maintain some kind of standard. And this just… Please excuse me while I try to recollect my brains from the floor.

These type of stories I share with newbie rpers

First off as soon as I saw this blog I knew I had to share some of my stories with you.

Now I’ve been rping for a long time now (10 years now) so when I see my share of fuckery or have to go through it myself I like to keep the stories to tell to friends who are new to rp. Sort of like horror stories on what not to do. These two are my favorite to retell:

First one comes from an Yu-gi-oh! rp. This one happened when I barely started going online. I was only 13 and was making characters before so I though “Hey I can bring my characters to life”. Sadly my first serious fan character (I thought she was original bawwww was I wrong) was a total sue. She was Mariks girlfriend, Yugis cousin, had a millennium item….It was bad. Now me being a total noob had no clue what I was doing but I ended up making these two friends who were nice enough to teach me and rp with me whenever we were all on. I thought they were so cool, now and I look back and wonder “The fuck did I get myself into?”. First friend A, had a male character who: Could turn into a fucking dragon. Second friend I also had a male who went fucking batshit crazy at the drop of a hat without any medical reason, I think he had a demon in him or something. Now one rp that stuck with me was very long but can be summed up in a few sentences.

(Me): blah blah blah! You’re a bad person!

(I): Blah blah I’m insane! Mwuhahaha

(A): I’ll stop you *turns into a dragon*

(Me): *watches fight and has a random mental break down over fear of dragons seen in nightmares*

(I): -Friend has to go-

(A): *flies down and comforts sue*

(Me): *cries like a bitch*

The only reason I remember that particular one is because I drew a picture of the “touching” moment

Next story is from sonic.

This happened about a year or two ago. I had just made this character that was gonna be adult art only. I know a sonic fc made for adult art (90% of the fandom). Anyway I posted the ref on my DA and not 5 minutes later I had a friend (now ex friend/creeper) note me asking my character (not me, no permission asking for the creator) if she wanted to have sex. I was bored and felt no attraction to this guy what so ever so I thought “What the hell”.

I at least thought he would use a character but nope. Fucker was rping as himself fucking an imaginary character. My imaginary character (my imagination nooo~ ;w; ). In short..he fell short. It was the most boring smut session ever. It was funny for me since the character was easily bored and distracted. And when he was all done her response was “That’s it?”

It was…pretty bad.

me: ….*eyes squint*

me: *Bangs the back of her head agasint the chair*

me: *shatters and reincarnates out of the chair* *runs in her room and locks the door*

i love godmodders.

i should feel horrible

it’s me again
i made a proboards ages ago
it was a group of my friends, whom I will call… M, J, Z, S.
J and Z were good roleplayers. S was kinda religious and it was obviously in the way of her rping. M… now M was a different story.

I’m legit worried she might see this sometimes looool but M…
M had the best Mary Sue tendencies. at one point i threatened to not roleplay with them because she kept trying to pair my characters with hers. we tried to give her an intervention but it went clear through her head. sometimes it was plain outrageous.

Tam: ../game face/ (grr, you’re mine deer..)
Z:  did Tam just pull a huge bow and arrow out of her crotch or something?
M: Her backpack xD she brought a big one
Z: that backpack would be too big to carry, lol meg
Z: plus the bow would get destroyed in a backpack
Syn: PULL IT OUT OF HER CROTCH
Syn: SAY IT
M: SHE LIVES IN AUSTRALIA, SHE CAN CARRY A BIG BACKPACK
M: D: she is outdoorsie girl
Syn: A bow wouldn’t fit in a backpack. XD
M: D: SHE MADE IT HAPPEN MMKAY

^ one of the best examples right there.

(S): Fine…-sigh- I-I don’t think I can lie anymore. But it’s going to hurt…bad. Still wanna know? :c
(M): How can somethin’ hurt me s’much? Nothin’ can’t be that bad.
(S): -deep breath- Well…Character was “with” (Z) when she was with you…at the same time. -cringes- I’m…s-sorry…
(M): …What?
(S): W-when she was on that ship with him…a-all that time she was away and you suspected something…she…she was…with him
(M): …/deep breath. *growls* What.
(Me)Nayru: FOR FUCKS SAKE (Character) CHEATED ON YOUR ASS
(S): -touches his arm- (M)… -cringes again- Way to be subtle Nayru. But yes. It’s the truth.
Nayru: |: I’m not a nice person.
(S): Don’t worry. It’s okay. She didn’t deserve you anyway!
(M): WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! /starts kicking things and breaking stuff wherever he is
Nayru: Someone call the WAAAAAAmbulance.
(S): I just think you’ve been hurt badly in the past, Nayru. -nodnodnod- (:
Nayru: By daggers, words, and plenty of other projectiles. Who cares?
(S): -grabs Larri- No…stop…don’t deal with things this way! ;-;
(M): I-I’m gonna kill him! BASTARD! THAT FU**ER!
Nayru: Of course your darling Lia did nothing.

Her characters were generally very irrational. And I just wanted to have some sort of voice of reason, which was usually Nayru for me.

So, let’s skip ahead here.
M was also a Twilight fan.
So… this came into it:

(M): Nym! YOU DON’T GET IT! /pulls away/ I actually married her, she needed “time”… TO SLEEP AROUND WITH GUYS!!!!
(S): -cries- :CCC
Nayru: Because marrying a 2 year old was just bright idea in the first place.
(M): /growls.
(M): Don’t fu**in’ cry. /storms out to find docked ship/

dating children and having kids with them is awwwrite

(S): >8( No one deserves to get their heart ripped out Nayru.
Nayru: He married a fucking 2 year old.

but M was also extremely sensitive
I never roleplayed with them because I was graphic
Them, on the other hand…

(M): /pulls on boxers and hurriedly puts Tyler in other room/ *comes back on top of ava* /badaboombadabam/

this was how she had sex.

also tyler was his kid. he vanished after that.

(M): /holds Fifi/ What am I going to do with you… you’re naughty D:
(some hellspawn kid): c:? /caked in blood
Nayru: Give her to a chinese woman to put her to work.
(M): Fifi!! /cleans her up/ *taps her nose* No! ;(

did i say they treated their kids wonderfully? because that isn’t a dog there.

i overstayed my welcome.
have fun if anyone reads that
we use her as an example of how not to roleplay now.

oh my god the early years of roleplaying

like you on dA, someone randomly added me and said let’s roleplay. I was pretty innocent too, like.. 9 or something. and i had NO CLUE WHAT A ROLEPLAY WAS. but he’s like oh just do this

so we’re roleplaying wolves and suddenly his stands on two feet so im like um alright then.

he knocks my wolf down and holds him (yeah, i liked playing males more than females when i was younger, then females years later, now i love both.) down and starts pressing his cock against my wolf’s ass or something? i didn’t exactly understand most of the rp then but i found a chat log ages later.

i was so scarred for life yet i’m still roleplaying, though i have one partner and unfortunately we’re splitting apart /sob

Anonymous asked: Activity for Followers of this blog: Fake Roleplaying/Troll-playing. Step One: Change screen name/make new account on chat/etc. Step Two: Be a character that is strongly loved by the fandom, no capitalization and no messletters (the converter that puts words into unique fonts). Be sure to add a stupid feature, like neko! or single, and an icon that has nothing to do with the character in any way. Step Three: Find a chatroom that WORSHIPS the fandom, full of fantards. Step Four: Troll. Have fun!

You heard the anon, followers. Go forth and troll your fandom of choice.